Show me your follows, I’ll show you your future

Show Me Your Follows, I’ll Show You Your Future

Sarah Kremer

I was reminded recently of a sign that is nailed to a tree at my old summer camp (shout out Frost Valley YMCA!) that says “Show me your friends, I’ll show you your future”. Have you ever noticed yourself using a new word or phrase after spending a lot of time with someone else who speaks that way? Whether it’s a partner, a friend, a family member or coworker, we begin to take on the qualities of the people we are surrounded by over time. In the past year social media has gone from being a fun accessory to “real” social interactions to our primary form of connection, communication and entertainment. These days, most of us spend more time interacting via dm’s, likes and scrolling than we do in person. As we scroll through our smiling friends, family, influences, and advertisements, our brain is continually passing judgement and making predictions. Even if the images are not consciously stirring up strong feelings, they are all affecting us in tiny ways. As tribal creatures, our brains are primed to pick up on trends and ways to fit in better.

Imagine that you spend a long weekend hanging out with three friends. On Friday night, you catch up with an old friend who seems to have a glittering life of money, beauty and success. As you eat and drink, they drone on and on about how great their life is. When you share what you’ve been doing, they respond pretentiously, expressing pity about how small and boring your endeavors are. You leave the awkward meeting feeling angry. On Saturday, you visit with a friend who is generally a happy, bubbly person. They give great compliments and love hearing about your struggles and ambitions. You spend a great day, and go to bed feeling grateful for such a nice day. On Sunday, you spend the day with a friend who is a real go getter. They are in an endless self improvement mission, always searching for the best diet, partner, car, hobby and business opportunity. While they would never overtly criticize you, you finish the day questioning what in your life needs improving and how you might do that. You’re not unhappy, but you are less content than you were the day before.

Now, turn those friends into social media accounts. One is the cute puppy account that always gives dogs ratings of more than 10/10. The other is a fitness account with tips on how to get the perfect beach body for summer. At first glance, both accounts are positive. However, the messages we get from each are very different. The puppy account asks nothing of us and offers a fuzzy burst of happiness. The fitness account suggests that we are not currently adequate for the beach and must do something to change that. The fitness account, just like the friend on Sunday, stirs doubt. It leaves you feeling a little let adequate than before. When you multiply these messages of subtle negativity by the hundreds of bits of media we see each day, the effect is profound. Unfortunately, many businesses that promote health and happiness turn a profit on making us feel inadequate, so posts containing “micronegativity” are prolific and well-disguised.

Circling back to the pine forest of my old summer, I propose an update to my old summer camp’s sentiment: Show me your feed, I’ll show you your future. Fill your social media feed with accounts filled with paid influencers, celebrities and friends who have a lifetime subscription to the latest self improvement trends and you’ll find yourself feeling perpetually less than. Follow accounts and friends that celebrate inclusivity, positivity, wellness and growth and a quick scroll becomes a celebration of all of the great things you have, you are and you can be.

Just like our friend groups, social media has the profound power to influence our present and future. Choose your followers wisely, they affect your present and shape your future.

Need some suggestions? Here are a few of my favorites:

@the_female_lead - Who runs the world? Girls! Who lifts them up? This account!
@realpod - mental advocacy, body positivity and real talk from the amazing big sister you didn’t know you had
@doggosdoingthings - every dog’s favorite Instagram account
@weratedogs - we give this page a 14/10 for top notch dog ratings
@anxiety_wellbeing - a daily reminder that you are not alone in your struggles, with practical tips
@semi_rad - relentless perspective in the form of graphs, charts and lists
@bodyposipanda - bubbly, giggly, unapologetic body positivity
@brenebrown
@overcomeanxietysupport - pleasant reminders that you are not your anxiety
@mindfulmft - greytone wisdom
@lizclimo - animal comics that will restore your faith in humanity
@myselflovesupply - keep it for yourself or send it to a friend - selfcare is for everyone
@momimfine - a world traveler keeping in touch with his mom via beautiful photos